The Brutal Reality Most Founders FaceIf you’re reading this, chances are you’re dreaming of launching a startup—or you’re already deep in the trenches, hustling to get your product into the world. Maybe you’re building a SaaS tool, a community, a marketplace, or something totally new. You’ve done your research. You’ve read the books, watched the YouTube videos, and maybe even taken a few online courses. But despite all your preparation, you might find yourself in a place every founder dreads: the “pain cave.” What’s the pain cave? It’s that alternate reality where you’re doing everything “right”—building features, tweaking your landing page, running surveys—yet nothing sticks. Your product is well-researched, your pitch is polished, but… nobody’s buying. You’re pushing something you believe in, but the world just shrugs. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Most founders spend way too long in the pain cave, burning time, money, and energy on products that never find real demand. Why Do So Many Founders Get Stuck Here?Let’s be honest: building is fun. It’s safe. You’re in control. You can tinker, iterate, and convince yourself that just one more feature will make all the difference. But building in a vacuum is a trap. The hard truth? Most entrepreneurs don’t fail because they can’t build—they fail because they build something nobody actually wants. We all want to believe our idea is the exception. That our research, our passion, and our unique insight will be enough. But hope is not a strategy. The market doesn’t care how much you believe in your product. It only cares if you’re solving a problem people will pay to fix. The Pain Cave: Where Good Ideas Go to DieThe pain cave is seductive. It’s filled with endless possibilities. Anything could work… in theory. But in practice, it’s a place where you can spend months (or years) perfecting something that never gets traction. You launch, you wait, and… crickets. Maybe a few polite signups, a handful of free users, but no real momentum. You start to question yourself. Was the idea wrong? Did you miss something? Should you pivot or persevere? The longer you stay in the pain cave, the harder it is to get out. Your confidence takes a hit. Your runway shrinks. And worst of all, you start to lose the joy that made you want to build in the first place. The Way Out: Find Intense Demand, Build Unique SupplyHere’s the secret: All that really matters is finding intense demand and building unique supply. It doesn’t matter how you get there. Some founders have their breakthrough during a wild ayahuasca retreat. Others stumble on it through scientific experimentation or random YOLO-luck. But for most of us, there’s a more reliable path: sell-then-build. What Is Sell-Then-Build?Sell-then-build flips the traditional startup script. Instead of building first and hoping people will come, you start by selling—before you’ve built anything substantial. This doesn’t mean scamming people or making empty promises. It means validating real demand by getting commitments (pre-orders, deposits, letters of intent, or even just strong buying signals) before you invest months of your life in development.
Why does this work? Because it forces you to answer the only question that matters: Will people actually pay for this? Why Avoiding Early Sales Is a TrapMany founders avoid early sales for all sorts of reasons:
But here’s the thing: avoiding early sales almost never works. If you can’t get someone excited enough to commit before you build, what makes you think it’ll be easier after? Early sales aren’t just about money—they’re about proof. They show you’re solving a real problem for real people. They give you feedback, momentum, and (crucially) confidence. How to Sell-Then-Build (Even If You’re Not a “Salesy” Person)You don’t have to be a natural salesperson to validate demand early. Here’s a step-by-step approach any founder can follow: 1. Start With a Clear ProblemDon’t pitch your product. Start by deeply understanding the problem you want to solve. Talk to potential customers. Ask about their pain points. Listen more than you speak. 2. Share Your VisionOnce you’ve uncovered a real pain, share your vision for how you’d solve it. This doesn’t have to be a finished product—it can be a sketch, a landing page, or even a conversation. 3. Ask for CommitmentHere’s where the rubber meets the road. Don’t just ask if they “like” your idea. Ask for a real commitment:
If people hesitate, dig deeper. Is it the price? The timing? The feature set? Their feedback is gold—use it to refine your offer. 4. Build Just Enough to DeliverOnce you have real commitments, build just enough to deliver on your promise. This keeps you focused, lean, and responsive to real customer needs. 5. Iterate Based on Real FeedbackWith paying customers (or strong commitments), you can iterate with confidence. You’re building for people who’ve already voted with their wallets. Stories From the TrenchesLet’s look at some real-world examples:
These stories aren’t just outliers. They’re proof that sell-then-build works, even for solo founders and small teams. What If You’re Not Ready to Sell?Maybe you’re still figuring out your idea. Maybe you’re nervous about rejection. That’s okay! You don’t have to go all-in on sales from day one. But the sooner you start talking to real customers, the sooner you’ll escape the pain cave. Try these low-pressure steps:
The goal isn’t to get rich overnight—it’s to learn, iterate, and build something people actually want. The Mindset Shift: From Builder to Problem SolverThe biggest shift you need to make isn’t technical—it’s mental. Stop thinking of yourself as just a builder. Start thinking of yourself as a problem solver. Your job isn’t to create the perfect product. It’s to find a real problem, validate intense demand, and build a unique solution. The rest is details. Avoiding the Pain Cave: Practical Tips
Remember: There’s No Single PathSell-then-build isn’t the only way to find product-market fit. Some founders stumble on demand through luck or intuition. Others experiment their way there. But avoiding early sales—hiding from the market—almost never works. The market is the ultimate judge. The sooner you face it, the sooner you’ll know if you’re on the right track. Final Thoughts: Escape the Pain Cave, Build What MattersIf you’re a wannabe founder or just starting out, don’t let the pain cave swallow your ambition. Don’t spend months (or years) building in isolation, hoping the world will love your idea. Instead, get out there. Talk to real people. Test your assumptions. Ask for commitments. Sell before you build. It’s not always easy, and it can be scary. But it’s the fastest, most reliable way to build something people actually want—and to build a business that lasts. So, what’s your next step? Will you keep guessing… or will you start selling? Invite your friends and earn rewardsIf you enjoy Startup-Side , share it with your friends and earn rewards when they subscribe.
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Wednesday, May 21, 2025
Are You Stuck in the Startup Pain Cave?
Saturday, May 17, 2025
The Bullet Holes You Don’t See
During World War II, military analysts faced a puzzling problem. Fighter planes were returning from combat missions covered in bullet holes, especially on the wings, tail, and outer fuselage. The immediate reaction was to reinforce those heavily damaged areas with extra armor.
However, statistician Abraham Wald noticed something critical: these planes had survived despite the damage. The areas with few or no bullet holes, like the engine and cockpit - were actually the most vulnerable. Planes hit in those spots never made it back. The military had been focusing on the wrong data. This example perfectly illustrates survivorship bias - the tendency to focus only on what survives while ignoring what doesn’t. For startup founders, this bias can be a hidden trap, especially when it comes to customer discovery and early traction. Survivorship Bias in Startups: What It Means for YouWhen launching a product, it’s natural to focus on the customers who love what you’re building. The early adopters who sign up, engage, and give positive feedback feel like validation of your vision. It’s encouraging and motivating to hear praise and see some traction. However, if attention is paid only to these “survivors,” it can lead to blind spots. The users who churn, those who never activate, or the ones who simply disappear after signing up-they represent the missing data. These are the “planes” that didn’t come back, and their absence holds critical insights. Ignoring this group risks reinforcing features and strategies that only serve a small segment of your audience, while overlooking the barriers preventing wider adoption. Why Founders Tend to Fall Into This TrapIt’s easy to gravitate toward positive feedback. Early users are often enthusiastic and willing to overlook flaws. They might even be more forgiving because they’re excited about your product’s potential. But early adopters aren’t representative of the broader market. If the goal is sustainable growth, it’s essential to understand why most users don’t stick around. Building solely for the vocal minority can create a product that doesn’t resonate with the majority. The Real Opportunity Lies with Those Who LeftThe users who churned or never fully engaged are not failures - they’re valuable sources of feedback. They reveal where your product is confusing, where it fails to deliver value, or where it simply doesn’t fit into users’ lives. By understanding their reasons for leaving, founders can identify and fix the real problems that block growth and adoption. How to Avoid Survivorship Bias in Customer DiscoveryHere are practical steps to ensure you’re learning from all users-not just the ones who stayed:
Facing the Hard TruthsReceiving negative feedback can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential for growth. Every piece of criticism is an opportunity to improve. Listening to users who leave helps uncover hidden flaws and strengthens the product. Building Beyond the SurvivorsIt’s tempting to focus on what’s already working, but the real challenge is to identify and fix the weak points. Like the WWII planes, the parts that don’t show obvious damage may be the most critical. By addressing these “invisible” issues, startups can build products that survive and thrive in the long run. Actionable Steps for Founders
Final ThoughtsBuilding a startup is a tough journey, but avoiding survivorship bias can give you a significant edge. The next time you celebrate your early wins, remember to look for the missing bullet holes - the users who didn’t stick around. Their feedback holds the key to building a product that truly meets the needs of a broader audience and achieves lasting success. If you have experiences or insights about learning from users who left, feel free to share. The more founders exchange these lessons, the stronger our community becomes. Ready to uncover your startup’s hidden weak spots? Start by listening to the voices you might be missing. That’s where the real breakthroughs happen. Invite your friends and earn rewardsIf you enjoy Startup-Side , share it with your friends and earn rewards when they subscribe.
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Are You Stuck in the Startup Pain Cave?
The Brutal Reality Most Founders Face ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ...
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